video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
