rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You're earring is so big in my mouth
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
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