I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
