On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize