I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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