He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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