Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
