Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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