Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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