batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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