Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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