He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
