Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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