I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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