I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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