tell your sister to shave her snatch
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
