stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
