he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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