i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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