I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
