I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
