is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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