So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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