I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
