Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
