he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize