Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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