I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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