Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
