I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
dude. I can hear the air.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
