You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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