Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
