Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
