I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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