my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
