How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
