yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Even my vagina gasped.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
