we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
