I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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