did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
