Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I came so hard my ears popped.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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