It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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