I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize