so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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