hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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