remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
