So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
