So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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