Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
