my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize