dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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