Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
