Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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