Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
