after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
tell me about the fingering
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
