im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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