Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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