She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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