Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
